I thought I would have this post published already, but I don’t manage my time very well. Hope you guys are all laying snug in bed and realise how fortunate we are! If some of us are complaining about the weather, imagine how homeless people must feel … Food for thought.
Whenever something’s not working out in a relationship or friendship, it’s natural to assume that you’re part of the problem as it takes two people (or more) to make it work. But Mike does not share my sentiments, although he began to lose interest in Jenn, he wanted her to remain as she was. All those times he saw her in that coffee shop, he wondered what it would be liked to be loved by someone like Aria. Aria always looked at the world in her own light, she saw everything differently. Upon getting to know Jenn (he was disappointed that her name wasn’t as exotic as he had imagined – Aria) he realised that his dreams about her did her no justice. She was larger than life itself.
But oh, how things have changed.
Now she asks Mike to dominate her so that he can feel ‘useful and respected’, his Jenny would have encouraged him to gain his peers’ respect, instead she insults him with her suggestions. Jenn has become too needy, almost obsessing over Mike and his happiness. It was as if her existence is dependent on his happiness instead of their happiness. Whenever he shows an interest in her life, she deflects the conversation to focus solely on Mike. Can your love for someone smother their desire to live? How would you be able to live with yourself knowing that if you had to walk away from this relationship, your partner would … Just the thought of it is unbearable. Mike feels like this on a daily basis, knowing that someone lives because you love them.
‘On the day of our marriage, when we became one; it was in mind, body and spirit. Not that we would or should lead the same lives. You don’t have to forget who you were, you have to remember who you were because that’s the you I fell in love with.’, Mike thought to himself.
Feeling smothered and useless, Mike found solace in the arms of Beth. When he was with her, he didn’t have to assure her that he was happy, he didn’t have to perform certain tasks to prove his love. He just had to be present, live in the moment and let their emotions do the talking. Everything just seemed easier with her. Maybe because they knew the fantasy that they were indulging would soon come to an end – as all good things do.
In their moments of madness, weakness or guilt, they would discuss their spouses and why they loved them although it didn’t always feel like it. Beth realised that she could be falling for Mike because he was what she had always wanted in a man, (but got tired of waiting for) he had a wry sense of humour that she never fully understood but appreciated.But he would never love her the way he loved Jenn.
Mike was an enigmatic man.
Beth was what Mike used to escape his devoted wife, but he never envisioned a future with her. He enjoyed her company, hearing about her life and what lead her to this point.There was a deep sadness in her eyes that he always wanted to ask her about but always decided against. At times it infuriated him when he realised she would have to go to another man’s house. Fortunately, logic kicked in and he realised she wasn’t his to lust after. But she could be …
The reality of Beth’s life became all too real when she finally accepted the fact that she had fallen for another man. A who would never be completely hers because he loved his wife.
He always would.
‘You caused the rain, I brought you pain
But you’re the only one that could save me
Oh save me, please save me’
– Save Me by Listenbee
… End of Part Two …
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Let your minds wander at the possibility of tomorrow.
-Christine Diampovisa
The Hopeful Wanderer 